See this spot? this is where I usually start my post about some new recipe I tried, sadly starting with something similar to “So, I found this recipe….”. Today? Not so much. Wanna know what happened? Promise you won’t laugh? Nah – go ahead, I can now. 🙂
First, I drove through hail on the way home from work. That was a new experience for me. Do you know how unsettling that is? Now, imagine you are going 60+ miles an hour down the highway when it hits, in a car with a cracked windshield. I should have just thrown up my hands and gone home, but nooooooo. I had to be motivated today and still go to the gym.
Luckily, the gym was pretty normal. It was after the gym where it went all to shit. Yep, there’s gonna be swearing in this post. Dammit. I had an errand to run to Target. Instead of going in, picking up what I needed and going home, I decided to look at some clothes, water bottles and a gym bag. I ended up buying items in each place I visited. Now, I was walking down to my original destination when I realized, I don’t have my wallet. My dumb ass just had a loose wallet and keys since I had just come from the gym. I ran/walked back to the area where I got the bag. There was my wallet. PHEW! Then I realized, waaaait……didn’t I have keys at one point? Sonofabitch!!
I ran/walked towards the clothes area. This is also my first encounter with the security guard at the store, but not my last. It just so happened that I ended up right behind him for two turns. He eventually veered off into the toddler area in an effort to evade me. I looked all over – nothing. I didn’t see anything on the floor and I had no idea what else I looked at. I went back to the sports area, ideas running through my head. Then, a thought hit me. What if I left the keys in the car??? Shit. Why did I think of that?? Now, I am FREAKING out. What do I do? Drop everything and go check to see if the car is still there? See if my keys are there? My conclusion? Fuck it, I’m gonna finish my purchases. After getting everything, I anxiously walked out to the car and tried the door. Locked. Fuck.
I forgot to tell you all one tiny, little detail. Notice that I only mentioned a wallet and keys? Yea, my cell phone was locked IN the damn car. I don’t know about you, but I don’t know any numbers on that phone save my parents’. I don’t think they were gonna be able to help me 8 hours away. So now, I am trying to figure out what the fuck am I gonna do if I don’t find my keys.
I went back into the store, stuffing my purchases in my newly purchased gym bag whilst tearing off the tags as I walked backed into Target. Started getting the evil eye from the guard at this point. I stood in line at Guest Services behind some woman complaining about her pictures. The only person manning the desk walked away to do something and this woman sat there and ate carrots. She was chomping on baby carrots in line at Guest Services in Target. What the hell? When did it become appropriate to eat whenever the hell y0u wanted? With every snap of the baby carrot she was gnawing on, I wanted to shove the little plastic container and start whapping her with it, so I left the line to try looking again. A couple more circles and still nothing, just me sweaty looking suspicious….apparently. By this time, it was obvious the security guard was following me. I looked down one aisle and he was there. I moved to the next and looked and he was there. It was like a creepy stalker movie. I was about ready to just yell “WHAT!?!?” I don’t deal well with stress like this…..can you tell 😮
I saw someone working in the section that I was in first and I took a shot. I asked if she happened to find some keys. Holy Crap! She had!! OMFG! I almost hugged the poor teenager and thanked her profusely. I journeyed back to Guest Services where she had turned them in. Luckily Carrot girl was done with her snack and another employee had come by to help. I asked and she said yes! Two yeses in a row!! Finally. Gloriously. My keys were in my hand and I almost ran out of there, leaving the Security Guard in the dust as he watched me expecting the door alarms to go off. His store was safe for another night.
By this time, it was 8pm – an hour after I left the gym. Target is right across the street, so 75% of that was me trying to make keys magically appear. If I had waited longer at Guest Services, I may have gotten my keys earlier, but maybe the employee hadn’t found them yet. Also, I didn’t see the employee at first. So that’s it. By the time I had come home, I was starving, exhausted and on the phone with my friend. Because, you see, when I finally did have my phone, my extra key contact was not reachable and my parents were not home (I had decided that I would be able to get the extra key guy’s phone number by guiding my mother through accessing my address book online. Hey, I was desperate), so I still would have been screwed.
I was going to go to the bar to try and forget everything that happend. Instead, I made some Applegate beef hot dogs with garlic bagel chips. I love these hot dogs. I used to get the low fat Hebrew National, but these are bigger, tastier and about the same nutritional value. I pair them with some of the best buns I have ever eaten. Martin’s Potato rolls. For the hot dogs, I use their long rolls, I love all of their rolls….well, the first row and the first one in the second row are all that I have tried. They are always soft and fresh no matter where I buy them. The chips? OMG these are good. These are SOO garlicky, my coworker has been able to smell them from the next cubicle. I can’t get enough of them…..sometimes the end up being my entire meal. I try not to let it happen too much, though. 🙂
That was my night. I hope you forgive me for not cooking for you last night and I will be back at the stove tonight. Awesome. Sounds like there’s a storm with some loud thunder moving in. *SIGH* Time to end this day.